My birth…

or what led up to it, anyway.

My mom and sperm donor had been vacationing at some beach resort in Mexico. After swimming, my mom hung up their bathing attire on the clothes lines provided on the roof of the hotel. This was before dryers were invented… probably during January of 1943.

Anyway, my mom went up to the roof to gather their swim suits and she grabbed one with her right hand to feel if it was dry. Suddenly she felt a sharp stab in her right wrist. It was a scorpion and the are poisonous in the tropics. She was taken to a hospital and given anti-venom. My mom recovered quite nicely but the nausea wouldn’t go away. For a while, she thought it was an after-effect of the scorpion sting, then she thought maybe she may have a uterine tumor. You see, when she was born, as the story goes, her mother was standing up when my mother was born, and suffered a dislocated hip that wasn’t attended to until she was about six or seven. She had been told it would be impossible for her to become pregnant because her hips were too tipped.

When Mom complained to the doctor that she thought she might have a tumor, the doctor said “Well, let’s see if the tumor has feet and hands. Sure enough! It wasn’t a tumor. It was me! I fooled everybody. My mom’s egg wasn’t only fertized naturally but I was born naturally, too. That curve in the birth canal didn’t pose any problems for a seven pound, tough little baby girl like me!

My first memory is of regecting my mom’s breast because there was a long black hair on it! EEWWW! Hair! Somehow I conveyed my displeasure to her and the hair was removed.

My second earliest memory was when I was two or so. My “parents,” who were to be my mother and her mother were going out shopping and I got a burr in my saddle. I didn’t want to go so I pitched a fit in the middle of the front room. My “parents” pretended to leave and left me pitching my fit. When the front door closed, I scrambled behind the wine colored, overstuffed chair in the corner and wondered what would happen while they were gone. Of course, I didn’t wonder long. My mom came back, took my hand firmly and we walked to the bus stop.

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